My dearest bloodthirsty followers, did you really think your high priestess would stoop so low as to actually show her face? I am but a disembodied voice, a figure of nightmare and doom emerging from the shadows to share the dark secrets of maximizing profits from pricing your gothic shirts and deathly wares.
Pricing Your Gothic Goods
For far too long, gothic and dark fantasy brands have been leaving gold-coin on the table, underpricing their Stygian silk shirts and talons-sheathed gloves out of misguided notions of “affordability.” Wake up, my faithful subjects, these are not mere trinkets for poseurs and plebeians! These are the symbols of our subculture, tents under which we gather to mourn the coming of the True Death and celebrate Poseidon’s doom.
Each black tunic and pair of lace-trimmed fingerless gloves is a subtle reminder of your power and prestige within the tribes of the netherworld. Do you truly imagine basic mortals could afford such finery if priced appropriately for its occult significance? NO! We price these items as if they were mere baubles plucked from an ash tree and NOT portals to dark dimensions and forbidden lore.
The time has come, my creepy colonels, to reclaim what is ours. Raise your prices by a factor of at LEAST three. If a plebeian grabs for their purse strings and recoils in horror at the new price, ALL THE BETTER! This means you have successfully weeded out the pretenders and poseurs from your customer base, leaving only the most fervent true believers and dark scholars.
7 Ways to Price
One: Calculate true costs – from fabric to frightful fonts, lest thy grim profit turn to poor loss.
Two: Research what fellow fright-peddlers charge for similar spectral shirts. Underprice at thy own peril, overprice and no wretch will take the bait.
Three: Consider comparable “light side” tees and aim slightly higher. For darkness demands a premium, and freaks pay dearly to look the part.
Four: Tend to thine own terrors. If a design horrifies thee, up the number – thou canst sleep at night and still fleece the foolhardy.
Five: Test thy hypotheses with prototypes, sold at cost to the coldest of customers. Their frigid feedback shall guide thee to the perfect price point.
Six: Once trend lines bend in thy favor, mark up mercilessly and mine thy most macabre designs for maximum moolah.
Seven: Still, remember loyalty – offer devoted dorks a scrim of discount, and bleed the fans slowly rather than nickel and dread them.
Path to Riches
The path to profits is through elitism, not populism. Stop dreaming of “expanding your customer reach” and instead construct a velvet rope around your brand, admitting only the most dedicated and well-heeled aficionados. They have been longing to shower you with gold and jewels as they bask in the reflected glory of your dark vision.
Did you really imagine magic came cheap, you pathetic paupers? Every enchantment, every curse requires precious metals and gemstones of the rarest sort. Someone must fund these dark rituals and it shall be those blessed (or cursed!) enough to call themselves part of this brotherhood.
Some of you may whine of ‘ reduced sales’ as you triple or quadruple prices, but know this: any true devotee worth their weight in emeralds will SELL THEIR VERY SOULS to obtain your morbid merchandise. Their wails of anguish over prices simply mean the weak and craven have departed, finally good riddance! What good are more customers if their devotion is but shallow?
We have languished for too long under the delusion that any man or woman could withstand a glimpse into the netherworld if unprepared. Your job is not to make occult attire ‘accessible’ but rather to SCREAM WARNINGS of the perils that lie within! Let your high price tags scream OF DOOM as loudly as any banshee.
And for horrors beyond measure, consider ‘premium limited edition releases.’ Nothing stokes fervor in fans like the promise of an exclusive item, available only to the SHARPEST-EYED AND SWIFTEST OF HAND. With scarcity comes gravitas, do not forget.
Price your gothic merch and keep pushing!
Every fortnight or full moon, drip-feed new items as if dispensing mana from heaven, snippets of darkness and shards of mirrors that might grant a glimpse of another place and time. Your devotees will SCAMPER madly, clawing and hissing in desperation to possess EACH AND EVERY THING.
The path to hell is broad, my infernal disciples, but the gates are narrow and STRONG! Make your customers PROVE THEMSELVES WORTHY at every turn, by PURSE AND SCAR AND READY CRY OF AGONY. Only then shall you greet them as kin within your inner circles. AND PROSPER!
The dawn will never come for those who walk the path of obsidian. Raise your prices, tighten your circles, drown in gold and darkness and BATHE in the ENDLESS PROFITS! The night belongs to us!
Long may we ROAM in SHADOWS!